All parents talk to their children but a recent study found big differences in the types of conversations some families have..
The study looked at the everyday talk between parents and children in 42 families. The results clearly showed that children’s vocabularies grew faster and they scored higher on IQ tests when their parents talked to them often Researchers spent one hour a month with each family tape-recording the conversations between parents and children. The results were surprising:
- One group of parents spent an average of 40 minutes each hour interacting with their children. Another group spent about 15 minutes per hour.
- Some parents spoke more than 2000 words an hour on average to their kids. This is compared with others who spoke around 600.
- One set of families responded to their children 250 times an hour on average. Another responded only 50 times.
- After three years, children from the most talkative families are exposed to nearly 30 million words. Those from the least talkative might have heard only 10 million.
However results from the Best Start kindergarten assessment, a one-on-one assessment in NSW to identify each student’s literacy and numeracy skills at the beginning of school, shows that this is not increasing the proportion of children who have the basic skills they need when starting school. In other words we need to increase the amount of conversations we are having with our babies , preschoolers and toddlers.
So what’s the key to talking more with your children? The researchers noticed some good strategies parents used when interacting with their children.
- Just talk. Use everyday events like folding laundry, changing nappies or doing the dishes. Talk enough to keep the child cooperative and engaged. This works well with younger children learning their first words.
- Listen . When children talk, even if it’s silly or hard to understand, use it as a chance to add information, encourage more talking, or to elaborate on what they said. ‘You’re talking about the little bird? Look at his pointy beak. What colour is his beak? He can fly high in the air.’
- Be nice . Kids need our guidance to learn what’s OK to do. When they do something they shouldn’t, suggest a better or right way to do it. Avoid negative criticism. For example, a parent could say, ‘We write on paper, not on the walls’, instead of ‘Don’t do that!’
- Give choices . Whether trying to get a child to do something like pick up toys or teaching them to use a spoon or fork, choices are important. Give choices that are real. ‘Do you want to eat your peas or your rice first? Do you want the blue or the green cup?’
- Talk some more . It’s a big new world for kids, so help them by pointing out interesting things. ‘Look at the yellow bird in the sky! It reminds me of the story grandma told us about …’. Talking about things is a great way to remember past adventures and prepare children for new experiences.Talk. Engage your child all day long, asking questions, explaining things, and adding new ideas. Try to use full sentences and lots of different words.
- Use positive, affirming language to guide your child’s behaviour. ‘I like it when you hang up your coat!’ Use negative language sparingly.
- Read lots of stories. Read favourite books over and over. Try sharing books with friends, or bringing home new stories from the library.
- Talk to your child even if your child is not a talker. Some kids are naturally quiet. Talking to them will help them learn the language just the same.
- In a large family, pay special attention to younger ones to make sure they are getting the verbal attention they need.
- Grandma, grandpa, uncles, aunts, neighbours, siblings and babysitters – encourage all of those who love your children to talk with them as much as possible.
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